Book Chop: The Dark Divine

Title: The Dark Divine
Author: Bree Despain
Genre: Paranormal YA romance
Rating: 3-4 stars

I finished Bree Despain's debut novel in a couple of days, which lately says a lot.

You can read the first chapter here on her blog. It's very well-done--fast, informative, and interesting. All you aspiring authors, take notes.

Anyways, TDD is a paranormal YA romance, which is "the trend" right now. Sometimes books like this are a major hit, or they're mediocre, or they fall hard. I don't think TDD will be the latter. It was pretty enjoyable.

The main character is Grace Divine. Now before you go jumping down my throat for the name, note that she's got some Jewish ancestry, and her name was originally Divinovich, but it was shortened to Divine when her ancestors immigrated. It's not like she named someone "Chase Danger" or something.

Grace is the daughter of a pastor. She goes to school with her older brother Jude. It's a Christian school; the book has a very Christian feel to it, but it's not a propaganda-type book, or even Christian lit. Moreover, Despain has used the element of Christianity to tell this kind of story, to add a different perspective to it, or even complicate things on the paranormal side. I mean, you can take any whiny Arizona girl and ship her up to Washington and introduce her to a vampire, and okay, whatever. There will be complications. But how much more complicated would it be if you were dealing with potential demons and you were devoutly religious?

The paranormal element is...well, I don't want to give it away. There are monsters of a sort, but I won't say what kind, because even though they're familiar, they're presented in such a way as to make them new and interesting.

The characters were well-rounded. The villains and heroes weren't obvious, not by any major stretch anyway. A few things were predictable, but not many. A few things were similar to Twilight, but again, not many.

Overall, you follow Grace as she tries to overcome some inner turmoil involving a new boy at school. Well, not "new"--he used to be her adopted brother, until a few years ago he got in a fight with her real brother, and they ran out into the woods. Her brother came back not long after, covered in blood, and the other boy--whom Grace loved--was gone.

I'm not sure if it's the start of a series. It feels like it is, and the ending left it open, but even so, it stands on its own pretty well. There's only like, one loose end by the time the thing finishes. Despain's writing is pretty good too, and easy to read.

So yeah, I liked it, and you should take a look at it!

Book Chop: Pirate Latitudes

Title: Pirate Latitudes
Author: Michael Crichton, RIP
Genre: Historical fiction
Rating: 3.5 stars

Michael Crichton's Pirate Latitudes was quite a fun book. The reception hasn't been that great among readers, and I think I know why.

I've read a lot of reviews on Amazon and Goodreads. I don't feel like the bulk of them do this book any justice. If people aren't complaining about it outright, they're praising it blindly.

The first thing you have to keep in mind is, the man has passed away. Dead guys don't edit their own books. I'm not sure what the progress bar looked like when he died last year, but I doubt it was kicking at 100%.

Unlike Crichton's other works, he intended for this one to just be fun and adventurous--like Jurassic Park, but without the tedious scientific details. He mentioned in an interview after the release of Next that he wanted to get back to writing something like that. For fun and adventure, the book succeeds on all fronts.

It follows the exploits of a gang of "privateers"--pirates, by any other name--in the employ of the English crown in the 17th century Caribbean. At the time, the Spanish empire still ruled the seas with an iron, albeit drunken, fist. You've got a killer lineup of characters, from Captain Hunter to Sanson, Don "The Jew" Diego, Bassa...oh heck, just watch the UK trailer:



Everything in that trailer is in the book. After Hunter and his crew are commissioned to steal a Spanish galleon full of gold, they hit just about every snag you can think of: Spanish warships, storms, island savages, sea monsters, betrayal on ship, betrayal at home...if the trailer is misleading in any one thing, it's that the pirates are just fighting against Captain Cazalla.

Not true. They fight against anything and everything. There's no central, solitary enemy. Everyone in this book is out to get them.

Crichton must have studied sailing a lot, because the book is riddled with detail about how to navigate ships the way they did in those days. Still, it's not as complex as the genetic lectures in Next or the physics lessons in Timeline. It's all explained as the story is told. At 250 pages, it's a lot quicker to read than, say, State of Fear or Prey.

As for downsides, it has a couple, to be perfectly honest. While remarkably devoid of profanity (especially in comparison to the double R-rated Next) there is plenty of sexual innuendo, and even a few uncomfortable descriptions of the act itself. I understand that Port Royal in 1665 wasn't the moral bastion of the Caribbean, but when those scenes came up it made me roll my eyes and turn to the next page. I kind of wished Crichton had breezed past that, the way he did with the language. There are more compelling ways to tell a story.

Also...spoiler moment. Scroll down.


When Hunter faces off with Cazalla about a hundred pages into the book, the resolution to their fight is very anti-climactic. Crichton had built up this perfect villain, very well-done, and when he duels with our perfect hero, we get about three paragraphs of action and it's over. That's what made me feel like the book was unfinished.


End Spoiler Alert.

It's a quick read and a fun one, but for the flaws outlined above. Imagine if Crichton had written Pirates of the Caribbean with his own story and characters--just set in that world, that time period. That's what you've got. I hope Steven Spielberg follows through with his plans to make a movie.

Book Chop: A Christmas Carol

Title: A Christmas Carol
Author: Charles Dickens
Genre: Literary Fiction/Ghost Story
Rating: It's a classic, what do you think?!

Whilst searching for an image to put up for tonight's Book Chop, I found far too many, since Dickens' masterpiece has been around for so long and has been adapted so many times. It was a three-way tie between Patrick Stewart, Jim Carrey and the Muppets. Carrey took third 'cause I haven't seen his movie, despite Porter's beefy review of it. Muppets took second 'cause they're close to my heart, but no matter what, no Muppet will ever equal the awesomeness that is Patrick Stewart. I mean come on, the dude was Jean-Luc Picard AND Professor X AND Ebenezer Scrooge AND Captain Ahab. Take THAT, Kermit the Frog.

Anyways, this is the first time in my memory that I've actually read this story in Dickens' own words. And by "read" I mean "listened to". Audible was giving it away free to members this last week, and it was narrated by Tim Curry (who was, ironically, in Muppet Treasure Island, as Long John Silver--while we're talking about our favorite felt puppets). Curry is a vocal pimp. He did a great job with the voices. Unique without trying too hard or overdoing it.

There's pretty much nothing about this story that you don't know unless you're not one to celebrate Christmas. BUT, since one of my most loyal Chop readers is of that particular persuasion--and we here at GrahamChops do our best to accommodate everyone :-)--the basic rundown is, you've got an uptight old grouch named Scrooge. He loves money, loves counting it and keeping it. No matter how much he gets, he's always frigging miserable.

Meanwhile his nephew Bob Cratchett works for him, earning something between "nothing" and "jack squat" every week. He's got a million kids to feed, one of which is deathly ill, and hardly anything to bring home for Christmas, yet he's happier than a tornado in a trailer park. Scrooge can't understand why.

The night before Christmas, Scrooge goes home and is visited by the ghost of his old partner Jacob Marley, who tells him that three spirits will visit him to show him the errors of his ways. Those spirits are the ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Future.

Past shows Scrooge what he was like in his youth, back when he was in love with a beautiful woman. But she left Scrooge because his love for money and wealth overshadowed her in his life.

Present shows Scrooge how happy the Cratchett family manages to be despite their meager income and sick child, Tiny Tim.

Future shows Scrooge how Bob Cratchett tries to comfort his wife after the death of their Tiny Tim. He also shows Scrooge how nobody mourns him when he's gone, just shows up to pilfer his belongings.

One of the most important scenes is when Scrooge recognizes the chains on Marley's ghost, made of money boxes and latched to a heavy trunk. Marley bound himself in life to a love of money, and it was all he laid up for himself in the next life. Scrooge saw many other ghosts like this, ghosts who wanted to help people now, but their chains prevented them from doing it. They passed up the chance in life, and now have their reward.

I don't think the overall story is about greed vs. love, per se...I think it's more about goodness in general, which is all about choice. Scrooge wasn't obligated to give away his money or be generous with it, and that's why it was so good when he finally decided to do it. He started taking care of Cratchett and his family not just because it was the right thing, but because it was the good thing. It was good because he could choose to do it.

And in doing good to others, he finally found happiness.

Book Chop: The Next 100 Years

Title: The Next 100 Years: A Forecast for the 21st Century
Author: George Friedman
Genre: Non-fiction
Rating: 4-5 stars

The premise of this book is so preposterously interesting that I decided to actually read peoples' reviews on Amazon to get a feel for its reception. You've got your two-bit hacks who don't know jack sh** that claim George Friedman is the illegitimate child of Hitler and Jennifer Aniston, and on the other side you've got your overly jingoistic people who don't care much for facts as long as America wins.

(You know, people like me.)

Well, somewhere in there is the truth.

The premise is that, using the past as a model, Friedman can predict a possible global scenario for the next century, and he explains with evidence and data why he thinks it's most likely to play out that way.

The book starts with an examination of the last century as seen through twenty-year cycles: the rise and fall of impossible-to-beat powers, how their geography plays to their strength/detriment, and how social, political, industrial and technological influences will play out in the future.

Now, despite Friedman's credentials, this book has to be taken with a grain of salt, and he fully acknowledges that in the epilogue. In no way is it a guarantee, or even the most likely scenario. He just shows what could happen and explains--with compelling facts--why he believes it will go that way. Russia will break up into a collection of nation-states that support themselves; Japan will form an alliance with Turkey when it becomes the major power between Europe and the Middle East; China will fall back on itself and break up as it has done countless times through the centuries; Poland will become the major European power with America's help, then will turn on us in the same century; Mexico and America will go to war; and when America has geo-synchronous battle stations in space, Japan will have small outposts on the moon, from which it will launch an attack akin to Pearl Harbor, knocking American space stations out of orbit with a surprise assault.

Friedman is remarkably detailed. Again, the future is wildly unpredictable, and he recognizes that. Still, the book helps you see what factors affect the rise and fall of certain nations, and why the nations he predicts will stay in power. Truth be told, I found much of the content to be intriguing and worth my time, especially since it will help me come up with a better outline for my book Porting, which takes place both now and a hundred years from now. I've gotta know what happens in between :-$

So check it out. It's very interesting and informative, even if it ends up being wrong. Friedman is a good guy and I like his observations. Hopefully I'll get a chance to read this in print more slowly 'cause there's a lot to consider.

Book Chop: Storm Front (Dresden Files #1)

Title: Storm Front: Book One of the Dresden Files
Author: Jim Butcher
Genre: Fantasy
Rating: 4 stars

Okay, new rule: I'll Chop whatever I want, whenever I want, and you are all completely powerless to stop me. I win. All the time.

Porter gave me this book a few months ago and I dragged my feet on it. My mom watched the TV show when it was on, too. After the first few pages, I kind of wished I'd gotten to it sooner.

Harry Dresden is the kind of character I can really identify with, minus the wizard thing. And the living-in-Chicago thing. Basically he's a contemporary wizard living in our society, like Harry Potter only with a job and he doesn't whine as much. He runs his own private investigation "firm", has trouble paying the bills, doesn't have much luck with the ladies, and mechanical stuff just breaks whenever he's around it. I feel you on that last one, Dresden.

There's so much to like about this book. It's written in first person, it reads quickly and flows very well, it's informative while telling about things that are happening, and the cast of characters is rich and varied. Harry gets a call from the Chicago PD to check out a murder in which a man and woman had their hearts blown out of their chests in the middle of the night. It could only have been done by magic, and since he's the guy to go to about that, they bring him in. At the same time, a young mother of three hires Dresden for $500 in cash to track down her recently missing husband.

The two cases aren't related...are they?

Could be. But not in the way you think.

As Dresden solves both crimes, he has to deal with new curves being thrown at him left and right, including:

1) A wizard bounty hunter from the White Council that is just aching to find a reason to have Dresden killed

2) A pushy, sexy reporter who isn't afraid to use her...ahem...resources to get a story out of him

3) A crazy air-spirit trapped inside a skull who constantly argues with Dresden and talks him into making love potions

4) And an amateur magician who draws on the terrible power of storms and uses them to kill people from afar (hence the title).

Despite dealing with the scum of the earth and the underworld, Dresden is an old-fashioned gentlemen who treats women with respect. I found that really appealing about his character. There was graphic content in the book, but not dwelt upon (both with the violence and the sex). Occasionally he'd be descriptive about one of the grotesque crime scenes. Rough language was prevalent but not overdone--probably appearing once every ten to twelve pages (300 pages in all).

In fact, with the exception of the dodgy content spattered throughout, I don't have much to say badly about Storm Front. I'm looking forward to reading the others in the series.